It’s time to get some things off your chest. You are about to end your damaged relationship with your current ad agency. Welcome to greener pastures.
Congrats, you’re one step closer to being single. Fill out the form, and generate some cruel intentions, then share it with your friends on the Book of Faces and the Twitter machine.
Dear (Account Executive),
We need to talk, I don’t think it’s working out between us. It's really come to a point where your lack of caring (brand strategy), sincerity (creative), quality time (realistic billing) and general attentive care (client project management) has left us feeling kind of indifferent to the whole thing.
I don’t think we are the right fit, it is with mild indifference that I say I think we should call it off. There are plenty of other fish in the sea (clients), maybe one will be the right one for you. It’s just not me.
I didn’t really feel like doing this, it just seems like a lot of effort, but it’s probably for the best… who knows I’m just feeling really indifferent.
Sincerely, I guess,
Dear (Account Executive),
IT’S OVER YOU DUMMY! There is a special place in hell for you, after all the times I was there for you and you return the favor by cheating on me with my best friend (our competition). How dare you!?
You’re a horrible lover (brand strategist), self-centered ego-monster (project manager) — all you care about is yourself (awards).
You betrayed me with your fancy talk about true love (social media) and how it would change everything in my life (twitter). Now the dream of having something real (a comedic brand spot that references kittens, unicorns or a hawk call) has become a desolate wasteland of shattered promises (Big Ideas).
I can honestly say that I have gained nothing from this relationship other than contempt (contempt). You should consider yourself lucky (Friday the 13th) that I wasted my valuable time (money) on you (evil slug).
There is no need to keep in touch (unfriend me on Facebook). I’m done. I will always have complete disdain for you, I really want you to burn in hell.
Bite Me,(Your Name)
Dear (Account Executive)
I know we are supposed to be taking a “break,” however, it’s really come to a point where your lack of caring (brand strategy), sincerity (creative), quality time (realistic billing) and general attentive caring (client project management) has left me feeling kind of cold and empty.
In the beginning, I remember the butterflies I got when we’d meet, back then there was plenty of PDA, I remember the day I changed my Facebook status. And you totally surprised me over dinner with your note, check yes or no to be exclusive (agency of record). It was something I had always dreamed of, but now that dream has become a, how can I put this gently, something that hurts my heart to talk about…
Look, it’s not you, it’s me… I’m really just trying to find myself again, it is with great pain that I say I think the “break” should be permanent.
We are both lucky that we shared a great experience and learned from each other — it has made us better and stronger people for the future.
I will always have a place in my heart for you and good luck in the future, I really want the best for you.